After You've Gone
by Tstarr
Summary: Rory realizes how much she cares about Jess just as he is about to leave to go back to New York...Note: Character Death, which I would like to apologize for!!! Please review and don't be mad...I was in a angst-y mood when I wrote this!
1. Prologue

A/N: This is kind of an angst story. Kind of depressing later on. So if you're looking for a happy, "Love in Bloom" kind of ending and stuff-sorry. This would be an R/J fic, and in some ways it kind of is. OK, that's all I'm saying. Read and review and try not to hate me! BTW, all that stuff that happened in the season finale of season 2 (Sookie's wedding, Christopher dumping Lorelai, Rory kissing Jess.).  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own "Gilmore Girls", nor do I have the intention of doing so. Read on!  
  
* * * * *  
  
"After You've Gone" Prologue  
  
"Rory!" Lorelai screamed as she ran into Rory's bedroom and plopped down on the edge of Rory's bed. Lorelai shook Rory awake. "Rory! Get up!!!"  
  
"What.?" Rory asked sleepily. She rubbed her eyes. "Mom, it's." Rory checked her alarm clock, ".7 am on a Saturday morning!"  
  
"Yes, I know, but this is very important! Like, ultra important-"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Like, life-changing important-"  
  
"Mom!" Rory said grumpily.  
  
"You got a letter," Lorelai said smiling broadly.  
  
"A letter? That's what you woke me up for?"  
  
"Not just any letter. A Harvard letter!"  
  
"Oh my God!" Rory's attitude changed immediately. "Where is it? Let me read it! Maybe it's an acceptance letter.Or not. You know, maybe they don't want me or."  
  
"Rory, Rory!" Lorelai said grabbing Rory's arm. "Calm down! Geez, you need a serious chill pill!"  
  
"Mom, what if I don't get in???"  
  
"Only one way to find out!" Lorelai exclaimed. She pulled Rory out of bed and dragged her into the kitchen where the letter lay on the table amidst a pile of bills and store ads.  
  
"Open it," commanded Lorelai eagerly. "The envelope's thick.it has to be good."  
  
"Well." Rory stared at the letter.  
  
"C'mon!"  
  
"OK." Rory took a deep breath and picked the letter up. She opened up the envelope and took out the first folded up paper. "It's an ad for dorms," Rory said disappointedly not realizing what all this actually meant. "This whole envelope probably only contains ads and information junk."  
  
"And they wouldn't send you all that stuff if you weren't accepted!" Lorelai yelled excitedly waving a white sheet of paper around.  
  
Rory rushed towards her mom and grabbed the paper. Sure enough, in black letters in the first paragraph:  
  
You have been accepted to Harvard.  
  
Rory didn't read the rest as she and her mom jumped up and down excitedly screaming. Rory's head was spinning. She had gotten into Harvard and that was all that mattered.  
  
* * * * *  
  
How'd ya like it so far? The prologue is kinda boring, I'll have to admit. But read on cuz it's sure to get better! Review the prologue if ya want, but you don't have to. Read on! Much Love~  
  
Traci aka Trac aka Tstarr 


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own "Gilmore Girls", nor do I have the intention of doing so. Read on!  
  
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"After You've Gone" Chapter 1  
  
Rory walked into Luke's Diner on Monday morning with an excited smile on her face. She sat down and took the letter out of her backpack and read the first sentence over and over again:  
  
"You've been accepted to Harvard."  
  
"Hey Rory," Luke said pouring Rory a fresh cup of coffee. "Where's your mom? She's usually with you."  
  
"She had to get to work early to talk to the sink repairman. She got in an argument with an avocado yesterday and she dropped it down the drain so now she can't start the sink disposal thingy."  
  
"The whole avocado?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I see."  
  
"But I have good news!" Rory exclaimed. She showed Luke her Harvard acceptance letter.  
  
"Congratulations Rory!" Luke said. "You know, if Jess had your grades-"  
  
He never finished his sentence because just then, Taylor stormed into the diner. "Luke! I'm in a hurry and I need coffee and a bagel to go!" he demanded.  
  
Luke rolled his eyes and went to help Taylor.  
  
Rory drank her coffee, re-read her letter over and over, and thought about Harvard. She thought about what classes she might take, who she might share a dorm with, what kind of friends she would have there.  
  
"Harvard, huh?" Rory snapped out of her daydream and looked up. It was Jess. "So you're leaving Stars Hollow?"  
  
"Um, yeah, I guess." Rory knew she shouldn't be nervous, but she hadn't really had an actual conversation with Jess since last summer when she had kissed him. She'd seen him at the diner, yeah, but she never actually talked to him, and when she tried, they'd always get interrupted. And besides, things had been going well with Dean and she didn't want him to get over jealous or anything.  
  
"Huh," he said nodding his head. Before Rory could say anything to him, he turned around and walked back over to the counter.  
  
"Bad timing," Rory muttered.  
  
Rory went back to reading the letter, ignoring all sound around her.  
  
Jess walked to the door and called to Luke at the counter, "I'm going out."  
  
"Fine, go, I don't care! Just leave me here to do all this work!" Luke yelled after Jess who was already halfway out the door.  
  
This was her chance. Rory got up and went outside to talk to Jess. "Jess!" she called. He was about 20 feet from Rory. "Jess!" He ignored her.  
  
She ran after him calling his name. He still didn't stop. She ran harder and was finally behind him. She grabbed his shoulder and whirled him around. "Jess! Did you not hear me calling you!"  
  
"Oh, that was you?" he asked sarcastically.  
  
"We need to talk."  
  
"There's nothing to talk about."  
  
"Yes, there is."  
  
"Let's see, you've thrown me out of your house countless times, you yell at me, you've seemed to despise me ever since I arrive, and then you come to New York to see me and you kiss me. Hmm, let's see, I think everything is well explained."  
  
"What?" Rory asked confused. "How is everything 'well explained'?"  
  
"Easy. You felt guilty," Jess said easily. "You thought it was your fault I went back to New York."  
  
"I did not feel guilty!"  
  
"Then why did you come to New York? I know it wasn't just because you felt like it!" Jess said loudly.  
  
"I came because-because.I don't know!" Rory exclaimed frustrated.  
  
Jess lowered his voice. "Then why'd you kiss me?"  
  
Rory stood their speechless. For once, she had no words. Why did she kiss him? "I don't know," she said softly. "But it wasn't out of guilt." Jess shook his head and walked back to Luke's. "Where are you going?" Rory called.  
  
"Back," Jess replied.  
  
"What?"  
  
".to New York," Jess finished calling over his shoulder. "There's no reason for me to be here."  
  
Rory watched him walk away. She wanted to run after him and tell him the real reason why she had kissed him. But she couldn't because just then, Dean walked out of the building that Rory and Jess had been in front of.  
  
They had been in front of Doose's Market and Dean had heard everything.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Ooh, what'd ya think? Hope that was more interesting than the Prologue. Sorry if Rory or Jess or anyone seemed OOC.Be sure to review cuz I wanna know what you guys and gals think! Read on! Much Love~ Trac 


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry if some of the sentences before and in this chapter seem kind of short and choppy.but I'm working on that! If the story's in anyway confusing, email me at Fireball818@aol.com and I'll try my best to explain it!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own "Gilmore Girls", nor do I have the intention of doing so. Read on!  
  
* * * * *  
  
"After You've Gone" Chapter 2  
  
"You kissed him?!" yelled Dean.  
  
Rory winced. She hated when people yelled or shouted at her so harshly, especially Dean. "Dean, listen-"  
  
"Rory!" Dean's voice was a mix between anger and hurt and Rory felt terrible inside. She waited for him to continue yelling or for him to say anything but he stopped talking and waited for her answer.  
  
But all Rory could manage was a whispered, "I'm sorry."  
  
"Rory, I feel as if I don't even know who you are anymore," Dean said lowering his voice to a normal volume.  
  
"Dean, I still love you-"  
  
"Rory, it's not me you love, admit it! You're in love with Jess and this whole time you've only been with me because you didn't know how to tell me!"  
  
"I've been with you because I do love you, not Jess," Rory said near tears.  
  
"Rory, you went to New York to see him. Think about it, NEW YORK. You don't even come to see me when I'm working late at night, or before you go to school. And we live in the same town!"  
  
"Dean, I really am sorry. But I-I went to New York because I felt guilty and-"  
  
"No you didn't. I just heard you say to Jess that you didn't feel guilty at all. Rory, don't stand here and lie to me even more than you have already." Dean looked at her with a cold stare.  
  
Rory just stood there looking down at the ground. She didn't know what to say to Dean. Tears formed behind her eyes, but she didn't want to break down now because that would lead to hidden emotions and reasons that she didn't want anyone to know.  
  
When Rory didn't respond, Dean shook his head as he realized what was happening. "Rory," he said firmly. "Maybe we shouldn't be together anymore."  
  
Rory looked up. "I'm sorry," was all she could say. She didn't protest. The only words that seemed to come out of her mouth that wouldn't lead to those secreted tears were "I'm sorry".  
  
"Yeah Rory," Dean said painfully. "Sure." He turned around and walked back into Doose's Market, leaving Rory standing there feeling completely awful.  
  
The tears that she tried to keep in for so long spilled onto the sidewalk. Just then, Luke walked towards Rory. "Hey Rory, have you seen Jess? He didn't return to the diner." He then noticed that was Rory was crying. "Rory? What is it? What's wrong?"  
  
Rory knew that she looked like a complete mess, so instead of answering, she turned around and ran back to her house entirely distraught. She sat down on the couch in the living room and closed her eyes. She had stopped crying awhile back when she tripped on the steps up to her house.  
  
Rory got up and wiped her eyes as she stepped into her bedroom. She looked at her self in the mirror and wasn't surprised that she looked as bad as she felt. Her white blouse was dirty from all the signs, buildings and light posts she had crashed into during her attempt to run home, despite the tears in her eyes that had almost blinded her. Her jeans were dirty from scraping her right knee while running up the steps to her house. Her eyes were red and her face was pale.  
  
Rory so wished that her mom was home and not at work at the inn. Lorelai would know what to do during times like these. Rory washed her face and rode the bus to Independence Inn.  
  
Rory walked inside the Inn and immediately saw her mom and Michel arguing. "No Michel, we're supposed to be welcoming to our guests. Telling people to get lost is not good service!" Lorelai was saying.  
  
"But he was annoying," Michel retorted.  
  
"Yeah, well you're annoying but I don't tell you to get lost!" Lorelai threw her hands up in exasperation. "I give up on you, Michel, you-" Just then, Lorelai had turned towards the entrance of the inn and saw Rory looking like she had just stepped out of a tornado.  
  
* * * * *  
  
OK, remember to review! Your comments are appreciated! Read on! Much Love~ Trac 


	4. Chapter 3

A/N: Okey-dokey, now I know the story seems to drag ON and ON.so sorry! The Prologue, Chapter 1, and Chapter 2 are like the pre-plot stuff, this chapter kind of builds up the suspense and sets up the background for the main thing, the next chapter is the big whammy, and the Epilogue is the.Epilogue; the ending!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own "Gilmore Girls", nor do I have the intention of doing so. Read on!  
  
* * * * *  
  
"After You've Gone"  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Half an hour later, Rory and Lorelai were sitting on the couch in the inn. Rory was explaining all the events of that day starting only from her fight with Dean. She hadn't told her mom about her conversation with Jess and him going back to New York because her mom didn't know that she had kissed Jess at Sookie's wedding.  
  
"Wait, babe, why were you in front of Doose's anyway? What, did you have some weird urge for vegetables all of a sudden?" her mom tried joking.  
  
"No, I-I was walking home," Rory stammered. "Shortcut, you know?"  
  
"That's not the shortcut. Passing by Doose's means making a huge circle, then getting to our house."  
  
"Oh, well, I wanted the change of scenery then," Rory said quickly. "Mom, I don't have time to explain everything. Dean just broke up with me."  
  
"I know hon, I'm sorry. OK, we'll both go home and watch TV or eat that left over pizza from last week. Or read! You love that," Lorelai said smiling.  
  
Rory knew she was trying to make her feel better and she appreciated it. "Thanks Mom. But you can't leave work now, can you?"  
  
"That's okay. I am the boss, you know! I'll have Sookie take over and yell at Michel for me just in case. And I can call in too, so it'll be okay."  
  
Rory and Lorelai made it back to Stars Hollow. Lorelai stopped Rory in front of Luke's. "Coffee," Lorelai demanded. "We need coffee." Rory didn't want to go in because she might see Jess and that would be too embarrassing for words. Especially with her mom there. But her mom was persistent and they went in.  
  
Lorelai walked into Luke's and stood at the counter with Rory close behind, trying not to look so distraught. She thought no one was in Luke's because everything had gone strangely quiet. She turned around slowly and saw that everyone had stopped talking and was looking at her with faces of pity and sympathy. No one made a move and Rory just stood there confused.  
  
Lorelai noticed also and turned around. "Um." Lorelai questioned.  
  
Finally, Miss Patty got up and walked over to the counter. She put her hand on Rory's shoulder and said sadly, "We heard about Dean."  
  
"What? How did you hear?" Rory asked.  
  
"Taylor told us when he was in here earlier," Babette piped up. "He said he heard the whole thing with Jess and Dean."  
  
"Jess?" Lorelai asked looking at Rory in surprise.  
  
"It must have been heartbreaking for you. I watched you chase after Jess from my studio, but I didn't know the whole story!" Miss Patty exclaimed.  
  
"You chased Jess.That's how you ended up in front of Doose's? Because you were chasing Jess to talk to him?!" Lorelai asked stunned. "That's what phones are for, babe!"  
  
Kirk walked into Luke's. "Hey, did you hear? Rory and Dean." He stopped when he saw Rory.  
  
"Yes, they know!" shouted Lorelai frustrated.  
  
"Jess is gone though," Kirk said casually. That caused an uproar. Luke flew into the diner instantly.  
  
"What is going on in here?!" he yelled, silencing everyone. "I come out of Doose's and I hear what sounds like a riot coming from my diner!" He then noticed Lorelai and Rory. "Oh Rory, sorry about Dean."  
  
Rory rolled her eyes. How fast did news spread? "Wait, Kirk," Rory asked suddenly. "You said Jess was gone. He left for-"  
  
"-New York," Kirk finished.  
  
"Wait, Jess is gone?" Luke asked. "But he was supposed to be watching the diner!"  
  
"Well, I saw him hop on the bus to New York," Kirk said confirming everything.  
  
"Oh no," Rory muttered.  
  
Lorelai watched Rory closely. "Well," she announced. "Rory and I have to be getting home because we need to have a talk." She grabbed Rory's arm and pulled her out of the diner without their coffee.  
  
Rory and Lorelai left the diner. On the whole way home, neither of them said a word to each other. Rory was thinking about how she was going to explain everything to her mom and Lorelai was thinking about how her daughter seemed to be falling for Jess.  
  
"So," Lorelai said breaking the silence as they walked up the steps of the porch. "Jess huh?"  
  
"Mom, it's not important," Rory mumbled.  
  
"Fine," Lorelai said casually. She opened up the mail bin and pulled out a handful of letters. "Junk, junk, junk, bills, ads," she muttered to herself. She suddenly paused.  
  
Rory, who was unlocking the front door to go inside, looked up at her mom. "What?" she asked.  
  
"Um, here." Lorelai handed Rory a small, white envelope. All it said on the front was 'Rory'. "Wonder who it's from." Lorelai questioned.  
  
Rory ignored her and flew inside. She heard her mom close the door behind her. Rory sat down on the couch and opened up the envelope and unfolded the piece of binder paper that was stuffed into it.  
  
The letter was from Jess:  
  
Dear Rory,  
  
Like I said earlier while we were talking, I am going back to New York. In fact, by the time you read this, I'll probably already be on the bus. I doubt anyone will miss me, including that boyfriend of yours, and I doubt no one will care, so I don't even know why I'm writing this letter to you, except that I guess I needed to tell you some stuff. The truth is that I don't think you know how incredibly special you are. You're smart, you're beautiful, you're funny, you're sensitive.you're perfect. And the fact is that I love you. I will always love you, but I don't know how to deal with things as well as you, which is why, I guess, I'm running from Stars Hollow. If you're happy with Dean, then I wish you all the luck in the world because all I truly want is for you to be happy.  
  
I'm sorry, Jess  
  
Rory put the letter back in its envelope and slowly put the letter down on the coffee table in front of her. She was incredibly surprised at this news.  
  
She sat there trying to figure things out when her mom's voice broke into her thoughts. "So Rory, guess you'll be going to New York then?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"To go after Jess? I know how you feel about him."  
  
"But I don't get it. How do I feel about him? I don't even know myself."  
  
"Babe, I've seen the way you talk to him. He's not just another friend to you."  
  
"You're right," Rory said softly. "I really care about him. I didn't want him to leave." Rory closed her eyes to stop the tears that were about to get the best of her. "I can't go to New York though."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Well, many reasons, but one is because he's not even there yet. What good would it do to go there to see him when he's not even there?"  
  
"Good thought," Lorelai said considering that. "Well, take a rest. You look tired. I know, let's watch some TV."  
  
"OK," Rory said. Lorelai switched on the TV and Rory smiled thinking to herself that everything really was going to be OK because she had finally fallen in love with a guy that loved her back.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Hey, don't think that the story's gonna end with them kissing or anything just because it seems like at this point! The next chapter is the high point of the story, so read on! Much Love~ Trac 


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own "Gilmore Girls", nor do I have the intention of doing so. Read on!  
  
* * * * *  
  
"After You've Gone" Chapter 4  
  
Jess sat quietly on the bus, looking out the window. He had been on the bus for about half an hour. He still had awhile to go. But he wasn't paying attention to the time.  
  
Jess thought about Rory and that note he had written her. He wondered if she read it yet, if maybe she was just going to dismiss it. Or what if she felt the same as him? He seriously doubted that, but what if.What if she loved him? What if she wasn't happy with Dean? What if.she came to New York?  
  
"Damn," he muttered under his breath. He scolded himself for not including in that note that she shouldn't come to New York looking for him, good intentions of bad. The last thing he needed was to see her.  
  
Suddenly, there was a loud bang from the right side of the bus and it felt as if the whole bus was tipping sideways.  
  
"The tire!" the driver gasped. Jess looked around in panic. His last thought was of Rory. Everybody was screaming as the bus fell over on its side completely. It felt extremely hot inside the bus for one good reason:  
  
It was on fire.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Rory and Lorelai laughed as they watched the little cartoon characters hop around on the screen in a comical way.  
  
This is what Rory enjoyed. Laughing with her mom while watching silly cartoons and not having to worry about anything, just whether or not the villain is going to succeed with his evil plot and if the superhero was going to get out of the villain's trap in time to foil the evil plan.  
  
Suddenly, as the cartoon was coming to an end, the TV immediately switched to a blue screen with the white letters "News Flash" on it. The channel's news anchor people started talking.  
  
"Aw, great, now we're never going to know what happens!" whined Lorelai.  
  
"Quiet," Rory said as she tried to listen to what was going on.  
  
5 minutes later, Rory was near tears. A bus heading to New York blew a tire out and had tipped over. It also had overheated and everybody in that bus was killed except for the bus driver, who was in critical condition and on life support.  
  
Lorelai looked over and saw her daughter crying. "It's probably not Jess's bus," Lorelai said trying to comfort Rory.  
  
"What if it is?"  
  
"Come on, let's go to Luke's. He'll know," Lorelai suggested.  
  
When they got to Luke's, they saw the "Closed" sign hanging on the front. Lorelai ignored that and went in anyway since the door had been unlocked.  
  
When they walked in, Luke was sitting on one of the counter stools talking on the phone. The TV was on and Rory saw that Luke had been watching the news.  
  
Luke sighed, thanked the person on the phone, and hung up. He turned around and saw Lorelai and Rory standing there. Luke's eyes had been red and instantly, Lorelai knew.  
  
"He's dead, isn't he?" Rory asked hoping that she was wrong.  
  
But Luke only nodded his head as Rory ran from the diner.  
  
* * * * *  
  
I know all you Jess lovers are going to HATE me for doing that, and don't get me wrong, I LOVE Jess too, but hey-it's angst. I'm so so-so-so-so-so-so- so sorry though!!!!!! Now I feel terrible, but to make up I'll try writing a happier fic later! Still, read on! Much Love~  
  
Trac (Sorry!) 


	6. Epilogue

A/N: OK, here's the epilogue.Did I say I was sorry????? Because I am, I really am! To make up, Luke and Lorelai did get married! Is that okay? Please review???  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own "Gilmore Girls", nor do I have the intention of doing so. Read on!  
  
* * * * *  
  
"After You've Gone" Epilogue  
  
Rory went over to her mom and grandparents and gave them a hug. This was one of the happiest days of her life: She was graduating from Harvard.  
  
"I'm so proud of you," Lorelai said smiling. "I'm sorry Luke couldn't make it." Luke and Lorelai had gotten married last year but he had some things to settle in New York, so he couldn't make it to Rory's graduation.  
  
"It's okay," Rory said understandingly. "I'll see him when I get back to Stars Hollow."  
  
"So Rory, where are you going to go now that you've graduated? What are you going to do?" Richard asked his granddaughter.  
  
"I just got a job!" Rory said.  
  
"You did?" Emily asked happily. "Where? Hopefully not in that dreadful little town you live in."  
  
"Hey!" Lorelai exclaimed. "We happen to like that dreadful little town!"  
  
"No," Rory said. "At the New York Times."  
  
There was a pause. "Rory?" Lorelai asked breaking the silence. "New York? You're sure now?"  
  
"Mom, I'm sure. Don't worry. New York's a great place and Liz said I could stay with her," Rory said, mentioning Luke's sister.  
  
"Liz? You mean Jess's mom? Miss Un-responsibility?" Lorelai asked.  
  
"Yeah," Rory said then looked down at the ground as she thought about Jess.  
  
It had been about 4 years since Rory's break-up with Dean. About 4 years since Jess had written that note to Rory, telling her how much he cared for her and how he loved her. About 4 years since she realized how much she loved him. About 4 years since he had died.  
  
"It's okay, Mom, really. I'll be fine."  
  
"Well Rory, then best of luck!" Emily and Richard both congratulated her.  
  
Rory knew that she would never forget Jess. But as she thought about Jess, she also thought about Dean. They had still kept in touch and she knew that he hadn't gone to college, but instead, he and his dad moved to Baltimore and opened up their own auto shop.  
  
Now Rory knew never to hesitate because as Publilius Syrus said, "When we stop to think, we often miss our opportunity." and Rory didn't want to miss any opportunity to tell the person she loved that she loved them, whether it was a guy she had fallen for, or someone in her family. People loved hearing that someone loved them and she wasn't going to miss opportunities like that anymore.  
  
* * * * *  
  
So, what did ya think? I'm still apologizing for Chapter 4! But thanks for reading 'til the end! Hope you liked the story or found it sad, but don't be mad! OK, please review-it's greatly appreciated! Much Love~ Trac 


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